Forward

Coming up fast my birthday will be celebrated in the Covid-Period for the Second Time! Yup, the calendar has come around full-circle on this experience. It feels like last week (or also like 20 years ago) that we swapped birthday dinner reservations for a trip to O’Hare to pick up our daughter who was being ‘evacuated from NYC’ (or so it dramatically felt at the time). You all have your own version – your ‘where were you when the Covid wave hit?’. And somewhere around this time, you are also marking your own pan-iversary.

Anniversaries cater to my desire to mark time’s passing with a customized recipe of nostalgia, reflection, accounting and appreciation, and then – a sharp turn of the head to forward-facing – what’s next? How does the road look from here and how will it feel to walk on it? 

So that’s where I sit now. Slightly gobsmacked that a year has passed, shaking my head in disbelief (maybe awe, honestly) at ALL that has transpired, and wanting to keep my head turned forward. Because forward shines of promise and possibility.

Here’s my current conundrum – and maybe you can relate. For much of this Covid year, I’ve felt that having positive things to look forward to – gathering with real people, travel, experiences – out in the future – is helpful. Gave me fixed points on the horizon. Grounding. And often along the way I could hold these lightly – knowing they may be realizable – and maybe not. Perhaps the degree of uncertainty in the world was turned up so high that riding these smaller uncertainties felt doable. The gain that I got from seeing them ahead far outstripped the possible pain of shutting them down if need be. And I felt like I was getting a masterclass in flexing and riding the waves. 

Now, however, the equation seems to have changed. I’m finding myself more attached to the fixed points – more desirous of certainty. It’s harder for me to lightly hold on. Feels like the closer I get to the oasis, the more I really need to know if the palm trees and water are real – or if they’ll disappear when I get closer. The stakes feel higher – or maybe my ever expanding tolerance is fatiguing.  

As I’ve noticed in talking with all of you along this year, we’ve each been able to access the lighter hold at different times (and we’ve each had our own unique crashes too!). All of this reminded me that our ‘covid life’ experiences are singularly unique. As we each approached life in our own way in the ‘before times’, we’ve each flowed through this year in our own way.  

          We all entered this pandemic in our own way

          We all navigated this year in our own way

          And we will all exit or move forward in our own way

          Our own mix of mindset, point of view, energy, tolerance for stress, risk, change…and on and on. 

If there were ever a situation that could illuminate our unique approaches, it is now. The examples are all around us. For some the much-touted summer ‘euphoria’ is a giddy possibility. And for others that prospect can create some social anxiety – a little distancing-hangover. Releasing long held contractions will look different for all of us. Perhaps inching into the water – and/or an exuberant cannonball in the deep end! 

Even when there is much to celebrate (and herd immunity would fall in that category!), there can be a long tail on a painful episode. Those who were strong at the front line will need to release at the back end. Put another way, there may be a sizable portion of the population who need a real big restorative nap!

And this will be true in our workplaces, and in our circles of family and friends. I know I will be doing my best to allow room for all the uniqueness – including my own. And, knowing you are all leaders – of self and of others, please consider this a call to kindness. And to recommit to make space for each of us to look forward – and move forward – in our own ways.  

Thoughts? Ideas? I’d love to hear.  Email me at kt@karyntcoaching.com