Curiosity to Action

All great products benefit from continual refinement and refresh – people are no exception. Adding new features, following new interests, applying established skills to new uses. Where there’s a version 1.0, there can be a version 2.0! Where’s there’s a version 7.0, there can be a version 8.0…

Let’s take me as an example. I love coaching; this hasn’t changed (this isn’t a retirement post). Lately, however, I’ve been paying more attention to an interest that’s been quietly bubbling along in my life for many years. And I’m in discovery and experimentation – a topic we often talk about as coach-client. I find myself curious to figure out where this interest fits – might it be a 3.0? Or maybe it’s more of 2.1….

The topic is end-of-life – and how our culture navigates this chapter. Yup, I said ‘end of life’. I feel you might tense up a bit, a little uncomfortable…. And, somehow, I am not. Or, maybe more accurately, I am uncomfortable but in a ‘tell me more kind of way’. Which is how I know I’m on to something. A clue! If I look back and scan for more clues (as I often ask you to do), I find them everywhere. I’ve been curious, interested and open to learn more about this final chapter of life for as long as I can recall. My early career involved programs, policies and care delivery for the elderly. My favorite childhood outing was the ice cream social at my grandma’s nursing home. And I recently found notes from a 2-day conference on death and dying that I attended a decade ago – not for work, just for ‘fun’. Ok, I heard you gasp but this is again another unique clue. 

And I wish so much that I didn’t also have personal experiences right-up-close to the dying process, but I have. And in those times I’ve noticed that, even as my heart is breaking, I can find a stillness in myself. Truly something to pay attention to. The clues are all there – a strong physical pull, an intellectual curiosity and an emotional resonance. As you read this, you might start to wonder what clues are sprinkled around you lately? What has your curiosity or attention?

Like many of you, it’s easy for me to get curious and then let it fade and go back to my day.  No change. Last year I started wondering if there was an intersection between my coaching passion and this end of life interest. And then one day I opened my NYT magazine and there was a big article about End-of-life Doulas and how they support people emotionally, physically, spiritually and practically. Click, click, click – right down my spine – like puzzle pieces finding their match. I sat up straighter. How had I never heard of this type of doula before?! This makes sense! I had personal experience with a birth doula and she was an amazing partner to our experience, acting on our interests and supporting our way forward. As I came to learn, End-Of-Life Doulas do much the same. And I became so curious to learn more and ready to explore. This type of alignment is screaming for activation. Time to find some way to get out of my head, off the page and into real discovery. 

Fast forward and I’m proud to share that I’ve recently completed a program on being an EOL Doula. Following through on this commitment gave me more insight into my interest. Here’s how: the 2 month coursework added 10+/week of requirements to my already full calendar.  And yet, I found myself joyfully at my desk on evenings and sunny Saturdays devouring it all – no procrastination, no resentment. Where there’s alignment, there’s flow – and somehow you find more time. More clues, people! If there’s something you’ve been pulled to lately, how might you take it out for a spin?

It’s unclear to me what exactly will ‘happen’ with this learning. It has been immediately additive to my coaching toolkit. Coaching is always about transitions and always involves big (and small) loss and change. And coaching is always about trusting the client knows their best path – no matter what the situation. The listening, space, curiosity and support – all the same between coach and doula – only this adds an additional dimension.

We all know that setting up some accountability checkpoints for myself will be helpful. To keep me on the learning and exploration path, I’m borrowing one of my own client tips. Whenever someone asks me ‘what’s new/what’s up?’ I share a bit about this discovery. I’ll try it now and imagine that you are asking, ‘Karyn, what’s up?’. First of all, great to hear from you. And, I’m excited to tell you that I’m in the process of becoming a hospice volunteer to deepen my learning. There’s a lot of steps, and I really want to keep my momentum. Maybe you’ll ask me about it next time we connect – and that will likely help me stay on track. How do you hold yourself accountable to new actions or explorations?

An important note – I don’t need to know exactly what will come of this discovery process. Just like you might not know what will come of your latest discovery process. We shall see. What I do know is that I am gaining clarity, aligning with what matters to me and taking informed action. This is what I always hope for in any of our conversations – and it’s exciting to be living that experience myself right now as well. 

I’ll close the same way I close a coaching call, by asking, ‘what am I carrying forward out of this conversation?’ Well, writing this (& rewriting it…) has kept this area of discovery top of mind – and on a practical note has motivated me to get my TB tests done so I can begin volunteering. Thanks for listening!  What are you carrying forward out of this conversation? Love to hear!