Ways to Make Hard Things Easier

Last week I had an ‘aha’ moment between family nostalgia and coaching work. Fodder for a newsletter article – here I am to share. 

My cousin found all the eulogies from my lovely Grandma’s funeral held nearly 25 years ago. As I re-read my words, and those of my aunts and cousins, I was immediately struck by the common threads. The themes were so clear: devotion to family, deep strength, elegance & grace, and creative self-expression (and many references to ice cream & butterflies). I guess it both surprised me – and didn’t – that we all experienced her in such similar ways. 

This consistency – where lots of people see our strengths in the same way – felt familiar. And then it hit me, yes, of course – this is something I work on with clients All the Time. Identifying and celebrating strengths – and the natural talents & gifts that underpin them. AND recognizing that others see our strengths clear as day. What is natural to you, is profoundly remarkable to others. It sets you apart. These standout strengths about us do just that – they Stand Out. 

I wonder if my Grandma knew in her lifetime that these were her gifts. I think so. She certainly lived them fully. And I’d like to believe that she leaned into them to keep life grounded.

I try to use my own talents – especially the ones that have developed into strengths – in the same way. In fact, I just did. I was facilitating a leadership program in Sonoma – wonderful!! (which was one of my grandma’s favorite things to say!) I was a little low in the tank -physically- coming off a series of medical kerfuffles, and a little nervous about travel as a result. So I leaned into what comes naturally – humor, connecting dots, deep listening and a grounded slower pace – and allowed those to be my foundation. 

By remembering and leveraging these, I was able to keep up my energy and flow with the experience. I could do something hard – yet from an easy place. Worked so well.

So, pull back out whatever docs you need to help you reconnect with your natural talents. Maybe it’s Strengthsfinder 2.0, or a Superpowers exercise we’ve done. If you’ve been to my French retreat, find your notebook and your pillars cited there. If you’ve done a 360 assessment at your work or with me – there’s good stuff in there. Or simply ask yourself, “what have I been told many times that I’m good at or that stands out about me?” Call outs that have been consistent over time.   

Know them, own them and use them.  They’ll support you going forward.